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Sunday, April 26, 2015

It's Not a Diet

But that's just what I keep telling people about the change I have made in our eating habits.  I guess it was the lure of a meal plan that would affect me for the next 30 days. Something that I could hold on to. Something that is long enough to make me feel like I have put effort into it but still short enough to feel like I could surely make it to my next piece of 31.

Tonight I was encouraged to prepare a meal that mimicked the comfort food that I crave but remained true to the restrictions of the meal plan. My dinner included no sugar or sweeteners of any kind, no grain, and no chemical additive.  (Sorry no pics)

My recipe served two adults and 4 kids. Everyone was full.

Fried Catfish, Sweet Yams and Roasted Green Beans (serves 4-6)

1. Peel and cut two large yams into large cubes.
2. Place in a pot and cover with water.
3. Boil until soft.
4. Drain and sprinkle with All Spice.
5. Mash and serve hot.

Roasted Green Beans:
1. Preheat the oven to 350° f
2. Wash and snip the stem ends of about 1 pound fresh green beans.
3. Place on a cookie sheet.
4. Sprinkle with basil infused olive oil.
5. Sprinkle lightly with salt and garlic.
6. Cook until fork tender. Serve hot.

1. Heat two tablespoons of coconut oil in a heavy skillet.
2. Season 2 pounds catfish nuggets with salt, pepper, garlic and paprika.
3. Scramble one egg and pour over catfish.
4. Coat catfish in mashed potato flakes.
5. Pan fry catfish in small batches until brown and crisp. Add more oil if needed.
6. Drain on paper towel. Serve hot.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Making Something

If there were one thing that I could identify that anchors me it would be the times that my mother, my aunts and my grandmothers spent teaching and showing, encouraging and empowering me to make something with my hands. When I was a girl I was fascinated with the things that they would crochet, knit, sew, latch hook and cross stitch. I wanted to sit with them and learn. I wanted to make things.

As an adult I still look to the time that I can set aside to pull out a ball of yarn or a few yards of fabric and make something.

Today I sat down with a tablet of paper, yarn, and my hooks and decided to write a pattern. I wanted the stitches to twist around each other (not an easy feat in crochet) but I got it done!

The chains between the shells and clusters appear twisted together.
It might look a little complicated but it's not.

Fruited Vine Scarf Pattern

I used DK/light worsted weight yarn and a size G hook but any hook and yarn will work.

This pattern gets its name from the clusters of "fruit" between the "twisted" vines.

Ch 28

Row 1. 2dc in 4th ch from hook, [ch6, sk4 , dc in next 5 sts holding back last loop of each (6 loops on hook) yo pull through all loops on hook (cluster made), ch7], 2xs, ch6, sk4, 3dc in last ch.

Row 2. Ch3, turn, 2dc in same sp, [ch3, take loop off hook, put loop back on hook from back of work under ch6 of previous row, ch3, 5dc in top of cluster from row below(shell)], 2xs, ch3, take loop off hook, put loop back on hook from back of work under ch6 of previous row, ch3 (twisted stitch made), 3dc in top of last dc.

Row 3. Ch3, turn, 2dc in same sp, (ch6, sk chains, cluster in 5dc of shell, ch7) 2xs, ch6, sk4, 3dc in last ch.

Finish off on Row 2.

Twisted stitch in pictures:

 Easy-Peasy! Have fun!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Hungry Man

Children, the house, church, work...we certainly get bogged down as women. We have a lot to do. We are responsible for the lives of many people. I don't know about you, but sometimes everything is just so overwhelming that I just want to scream. But so what, right? It is what it is. We get up early, we stay up late and most of the time it feels like a terribly thankless job. But we love our children, we are proud of the homes we keep, we are proud of ourselves and all the many things that we can manage. We dote on ourselves as the nurse, cook, housekeeper, therapist, accountant, manager, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, at some point in all that doing we forget about the man that steals the covers and leaves his shoes in the middle of the floor. We may even start to resent him. He makes more work for us. He doesn't help the way we want him to. He doesn't follow directions. We start treating him like one of the kids, spouting out orders and commands. And when he doesn't obey we punish him. We neglect him. We stop feeding him. He begs to eat but we put the kids, housework, chores, and to-do lists on his plate and as he starves to death we shake our head as we proclaim, "I'm tired!"

Ladies! Stop. A hungry man feeds himself. 

Have you ever gone away for a day or two and left your husband to fend for himself and the kids? When you returned did you find that in your absence he and the kids ate healthy, home cooked meals with lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, milk, juice and plenty of water? Probably not. You shook your head as you looked in the freezer at the untouched meals you left for them or the fast food bags crumpled in a heap in the trash can. It's not that he didn't want to eat a healthy meal. It's not that he doesn't know what's good for him. But he kind of counts on you. He's looking for you to feed him. It's not rebellion, he's certainly capable, but God created him in a way that he looks to you to make sure he stays full.

But it's more than that, isn't it? It really isn't necessarily about nutrition, though in your house that may be part of the equation but what it really is about is contentment. Let's take a moment to look at ourselves...

We all start out with an empty plate. We are hungry. As babies we cried to be fed and in some aspects, as adult women we cry to be fed as well. Who will feed us? We may feed ourselves by pampering ourselves, getting our nails done, taking a long bubble bath, relaxing and reading a magazine. The activities that take care of us feed us, they fill us up. They make us content. Then our friends feed us with some girl time. We laugh and connect and understand each other. They feed us with encouragement and compliments, they feed us by empathizing with our struggles and comforting us. They feed us with their support. Our kids feed us with smiles and laughter and kisses and hugs with little hands and fingers wrapped around our hands. They fill us up with "Mommy you are the most beautiful girl in the whole world," "Mommy, I love you," and "Can I sit with you, Mommy?" Our jobs fill us up with feelings of competence and accomplishment. And certainly God fills us up as we spend time in prayer and meditation, as we read and study the bible, we are filled as we attend church services and bible studies. The spiritual woman is fed. 

And full, we move through the days of our lives returning to the "fridge" for what we need, when we need it.

What about our husbands? You may look at the list above and think, why can't he just get full the way I do. I don't need him to feed me, why do I need to feed him. He has friends, he has a job, the kids are his too, and they adore him. For him, though, it's not that simple. Men have different hunger pains. There hunger is bigger. They have manly appetites and need heavy meals of meat and potatoes. So now you're thinking, great, something else on my list of things to do. Like I can take on one more task. But honestly, you can't afford not to. If you don't, then he's left to fend for himself. He becomes resentful and angry. He doesn't want to sit in another drive-thru line. He doesn't want another meal wrapped in paper. He wants a hot meal on real dishes, and he wants you to give it to him.

Now you may equate this with being motherly. Your children, of course, get a great amount of their feeding from you. This has been your job since they were itty-bitty in a bassinet next to your bed. They cried and you fed them every need that they had. They were never hungry long. You made sure of it. Now here is this grown man, crying like a baby and he expects you to drop everything to feed him. Even the kids don't need to be fed like that anymore. But this isn't a motherly task. This is a womanly task. The task is that of a wife who, taken by a husband, wants to please him. 

Proverbs 31:11-12 AMP (you knew it was coming) says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her." That scripture is the guideline, I'll give you that as many women have told me that the Proverbs 31 woman isn't a real woman, or she isn't one woman alone, and that she's simply an outline, so to speak, so I'll save that discussion for another time we will just suffice to say this is a guideline. Inasmuch, the scripture says that he relies on her. He relies on her for what? Take your mind off your husband for a moment and imagine this scripture referred to mothers and their children. Now the scripture is clear.  The heart of her son trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. The scripture becomes one that is tasteful to you now even if it was distasteful before. It also becomes very plain. The mother meets the needs of the child. He doesn't go looking for other mommies to give him lunch or fix his boo-boos, or snuggle with him on the couch. His mommy, the one God gave him, meets all his needs and is enough. It's the same with our husbands.

A friend of mine said that when he was young he played football. During the games he would look to the stands for his mother. He looked for her approval, encouragement, support, and love. She was always there. With bells on (literally---a story for another day) and she met his needs. She fed him. He had no need of dishonest spoil. He didn't need the encouragement of anyone else because his mom was there. As an adult with a wife, he looks to her now for encouragement, the smiling face in the crowd. He seeks her out among the many. He wants to be fed by her. It is his strength.

That's the way God laid it out. That's the way it is supposed to be. So as wives we come into the relationship with one very important task. We don't let our husbands starve. We don't allow them to be hungry. If there is no food at home, eventually our husbands must go out and find food. He doesn't want to eat on paper plates with disposable forks, he wants to eat at home. It's the wives responsibility to fill her husband's plate with all that he needs. Even when we are tired we feed our children when they are hungry. We don't make them suffer hunger pains. Likewise, no matter how tired we are, we need to feed our husbands. They suffer longer than the babies do before they cry out, but just like the babies, they always let you know they are hungry. Keep in mind, the waiting feels like eternity to them. 

I know you're thinking, what about me? When do I get to eat? Well, ladies, this isn't about us, but if we must...we have a different appetite than our husbands. We are fed in some of the same ways and in many different ways, but our husband's want to feed us. They want to be the source of our satisfaction. When we start to make them feel like we value them, we appreciate them and that they do many things that please us they will be sure that we are fed. Open your mouth and tell him what you are hungry for. He probably doesn't know, he may even think he doesn't have what you would like. But a closed mouth doesn't get fed. The bottom line is this, do you want to do what the Bible tells you to do or do you want to stand on your own convictions? Of course, you may. You can do whatever fancies you. But the Bible is clear about the wife's responsibility to her husband. 

It's a mind set. It's a heart set. Feeding your husband is an action that you decide to take. They don't stop eating just because there's no food at home. So make the decision. Make the Proverbs 31 choice. Once you have decided in your mind and heart that your husband will not be a hungry man, start preparing his meals. You can even refer to the fun chart below for your meal planning.

Preparing a Balanced Diet for the Hungry Man:

Make you feel full, lots of energy, turns to sugar
(Regularly and on request)
One on one bedroom time, lots of intimacy results in lots of sweet moments for you both
Fruits and Vegetables
Variety, lots of vitamins, delicious with few calories, eat freely
(Daily and liberally)
Let him know how he completes you and all the reasons you said “yes”
Oils, Fats, Sugar and Salts
Use sparingly, too many can jeopardize overall health and wellness
Sometimes you have to just do it gently and try not to make it a habit
Milk and Dairy
Builds healthy bone structure, Vitamins
On this he can go out and conquer the world
Lean Meats, Fish, Poultry, Beans and Seeds 
Full of protein, iron and are the building blocks of the body
Let him know what’s on your mind and in your heart. Share your hopes and dreams and together you will build a strong relationship that will withstand many trials.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Almost a Hoarder

I cringe when I see those shows on tv-- men and women whose families come together for some form of intervention trying to convince a loved one that they are living a life of destructive excess. Hoarding things and holding onto them as if there were some value still in a broken coffee mug or a room filled with old newspapers.

I wonder when I watch those shows how close am I to becoming one of them with my book shelf stacked a little beyond its capacity with books found, given and bought. "I love books," I reason, "I want my kids to love books." Greeting cards in my bureau. Stacks of patterns under my bed and cabinets and boxes stuffed full of yarn and fabrics, notions and needles. Things that I am making. Classes that I will be teaching. And when someone comes to me with questioning in their eyes about the project they know I can, and will complete with the supplies out of my stash to mend or make...I reason.

And on those days when I feel particularly energetic I start to sift through things, a trash bag at my side as I wistfully toss what I know I won't finish, what I think I won't need, stickers that have lost their glue, paper that is faded, patterns for things that are out of fashion, yarn that is knotted. Those things I throw away. And in the throwing away I gain new inspiration in found things that had been forgotten. I am drawn into who I was created to be. I am drawn into a creative vision that I can't help but explore. I reason.

When I die, if you are given the task of cleaning up and clearing out you might be on the edge of referring to me as a hoarder. You will think I was almost there. The treasures of my life on bookshelves and tucked under my bed. You will think it was excess. But if you look before you throw it away you might find the treasure of love folded and tucked between sheets of unused fabric, you will find my sanity and my peace there, you will find my heart.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Book Review: She Speaks

What a disappointment! I received a copy of She Speaks Wisdom from the Women of the Bible to the Modern Black Woman for free as a member of I received the copy with only the agreement to write my honest review of the book. I am not otherwise associated with Booksneeze or Thomas Nelson Publishing in any way and have not received any compensation for this review.

I already had a copy of the Bible by the same author and was excited to receive this complimentary book in the mail. I thought that I would receive something new and encouraging, uplifting and courageous. To my dismay, this book is a collection of excerpts from the Sisters in Faith Bible. Verbatim, the text in this book comes from the "Women of the Bible" sections in the Sisters in Faith Bible. Unfortunately, I was unimpressed with those sections in the Bible and was very disappointed to find that I now own a collection of them. The "monologues" are dry and not very creative at all. I didn't find that much thought was put in the writing of those sections to bring the women to life, they simply restated the text. There were no knew incites or supposition to what may have been their thoughts. Something I was looking forward to reading.

As much a disappointment, I am glad I have the Bible and will pass this little book along. I don't recommend it. Pick up the Sisters in Faith Bible instead.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Need a New Bible? Try Sisters in Faith.

I received a free copy of Sisters in Faith Holy Bible as a reviewer for Thomas Nelson at In exchange, I give my honest opinion.

The cover, is amazing. This is a beautiful Bible and is perfect for gift giving. When I opened the pages I was equally impressed. The pagesThis Bible is beautiful from cover to cover. The font is purple and pink and very easy to read. There is a Feature Index and Concordance. There are study guides, devotions, supplements and helps in this Bible that speak directly to women of color.

After having the Sisters in Faith Bible for only two weeks I found that I was using some of the Empowered Faith (motivational articles) to minister to friends. I recommend this Bible for anyone looking for a King James Version. This is the Bible to gift your girlfriends.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Book Review - The Purpose Driven Life

I received a copy of the most recent, re-release of The Purpose Driven Life (expanded edition)by Rick Warren as a blogger from I received the book free and in return I read the book and post my honest opinion. I am not paid for my review. Oh...and this was supposed to be posted earlier, I just couldn't finish it that fast...   :(

So...I read this back in 2003 when our church broke off into home groups to study The Purpose Driven Life. From that reading I took what was of value to me and left what was not. Having gained 9 years of living, and being in my calling, I approached the book a bit differently this time around. My mind was in a different place and of course, my outlook on my future is clearer.

The expanded edition has two more days of study: The Envy Trap and The People Pleaser Trap. Wow!  and Yes! Before I even read the new chapters I knew Rick Warren hit this one right on the head. I found myself reflecting on walking in my calling, using my gifts and talents and looking around. What are other people doing? Why can't I do that too? No one is going to be happy with what I am doing...I have to do what everyone asks...I can't say no.  But that isn't what God has called me to. I realized in reading the new chapters that I have what God has for ME! I can't get caught up in what other people are doing and what there situation looks like from my vantage point. I also can't worry about what other people think and say about me. It surely isn't about pleasing's about pleasing God.

The scriptures at the beginning of the chapters are perfect and give a Biblical reference point that can be studied and meditated on.

I am so pleased to have been able to re-visit this book. I was not disappointed...well, maybe a little bit...the book has those QR codes you can zap with your smartphone. I don't have a smartphone, but I can get connected online. Super addition to the book.

I gave this one 4 out of 5 stars...$22.99 (retail) is a lot for two chapters...