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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Focus of My Desire

Of all the things that I had ever imagined I would do, this is it. If you had asked me, do you see yourself in a classroom, in front of a group of kids, showing them the tricks you mastered to master mathematics, or tapping into their minds to pique a poetic or artistic interest, I would have simply told you yes.

But life doesn't always seem to flow in one direction. It ebbs and twists all over the place, dipping into valleys and climbing great mountains. And though you are moving, always moving, once you have taken your eyes off the goal, there is no telling where you might end up.

I consider the Isrealites and their "walk." I have been walking in my own wilderness. Wandering and wasting time. Trying to imagine what would happen if I didn't have control and then deciding that I must control. Everything. That unknown must be a curse word and I will let nothing foul escape from my lips. But, like the Isrealites, I have always known in my heart what God put there and it was inevitable, if given enough breathing hours, I would return to it.

If you would have asked, I would have told you that the desire I have to be like those great women and men in my life who stood before me, sharing their passions, their dedication and their faith, is overwhelming! The knowledge, at times, is secondary to what those teachers really gave me. And I hope it is the same for me. I hope that I impact these lives in ways that a text book never could. I hope to impact their lives in a way that will move them 20 or 30 years from now to do what they love, do it for Christ, and do it with passion. I hope that I impact them to impact others. Isn't that the way we are supposed to live? Isn't that the thing that is supposed to drive us, keeping focus on the goal?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Breathe

The cool night air
filling the corners of my lungs
Those places where the air hasn't been
because my breathing has been shallow
Quickened by the onslaught of chores
and duties
and desires
Robbing myself of the renewing
oxygen
The nights are so short
and the air
that accompanies the sun is so hot
I don't want to breathe it at all
I just want to stay in the night
breathing
deeply
deeply.